


Secrets, Lies, Truths

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge AUs [16]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, alternate scene for The Broken Edge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 02:38:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11304003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Ben tells Poe the truth about Yavin IV, and what he did there.





	Secrets, Lies, Truths

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Wild Card -- Confessions
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 

 The moment Poe spoke about a man in a mask slaughtering students, Ben knew that he had to tell him the truth. He took a deep breath and said, "Poe...I was that man. I killed the students."

Poe stepped away in that moment, and his eyes became suddenly very wide, horrified in that moment. Then, "Why, Ben? Why did you kill them?"

"I didn't like it." Ben said, and that was no lie, that was nothing he could deny. Killing the students hadn't been pleasurable. Even thinking back on it, it was enough to make him feel suddenly very sick.

"That doesn't answer my question. Why did you do it?"

"Orders," Ben said. "Orders from Snoke."

"So you're...serving him now?" Poe's horror was too audible.

"Yes. He's not evil, Poe; he really isn't. I know he seems like a monster, but he's not. He's trying to save Milara. To save the galaxy. There's nothing evil about that, is there?"

"He's killed innocent beings."

"Not that innocent."

Poe shook his head. "Did Snoke tell you that? Is that his justification now? The ends justify the means?"

"They refused to surrender."

"Of course they did!" Poe said. "You attacked their Academy. Of course they were going to fight."

The silence between them could have been a duracrete wall. Then Ben spoke. He couldn't bear to lose Poe. Not here, not now, not ever. "Come with me, Poe. You know how frustrated you were with the Republic. We can make this better. We can bring stability to the galaxy."

"I can't, Ben." Poe looked up into his eyes, and Ben was aware of how earnest they were in that moment, how deep. "I love you. I'll always love you. But I can't go with you."

And in that moment, Ben could have sworn that something in his heart broke. The very idea that Poe would refuse to follow him, the very idea of them being separated, parted perhaps forever...

He couldn't bear it.

"Poe. You don't know what you're -- "

"I do. I can't go with you. I can't condone what you're doing. Not once, not ever."

"I'm doing the right thing." Are you? a part of him said. Really?

"You're not. Ben...come with me. We can help you. Please, Ben."

And from there, Ben almost wanted to. Wanted to end this and simply come home, to his Poe, to his one and only. But he couldn't. He had gone too far. He couldn't betray Snoke. And what he had done -- was there too much evil inside him, too much wrong?

"I can't." His voice cracked, and tears brimmed in his eyes.

"Ben..."

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is. Come with me. I can help you. Please."

Silence. Then Ben said, "I can't. But no matter what happens, Poe..."

"What?"

"I love you. I always will. No matter where you go, no matter what happens, what we do, you will always be the love of my life."

"So will you."

They embraced in that moment, and Ben took care to memorize the warmth of Poe's body. The shape of it, the feel of it. And he made sure to memorize it, because in this moment, losing this memory was something he could not do.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
